it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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