I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Please, let me fuck your mom
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
