yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I need to sanitize my soul.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
