we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
