Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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