Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
