What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Randomize
