I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
vagina is talking i cant
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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