Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
