her vagine was all disorganized.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
