i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
