i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
