My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
