my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
