Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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