Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
