I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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