So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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