We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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