Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
