so explain again why im purple
no
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
