You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
