It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
