Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
