I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
third nipple confirmed
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
