i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my being single is dangerous.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
