I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
