we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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