the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
