I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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