Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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