I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
