What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
