What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
