would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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