Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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