My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
