We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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