DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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