but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
