is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
