Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
