Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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