yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize