You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
