oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
