At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
