You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
