guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
