Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
