i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
