Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
