areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
