I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
