Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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