i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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