I'm jealous of your bromance
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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