My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
