He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
