that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
